Sometimes I don’t understand people. I’ve been on Facebook for more than two years now and there are still things that puzzle me endlessly.
One of them is the birthday wishes function. I usually write birthday wishes to my acquaintances or to people I have been is closer touch lately. And I certainly don’t need FB to remember the birthdays of my family and few friends. In fact, I’m so good at remembering birthdays (not boasting, really, just stating) that I even remember the birthdays of most of my primary school and secondary school classmates. I hid mine on FB and I got two last year but I don’t mind. My family remembered without FB and this is what matters to me.
The other thing I find absolutely absurd is that people wish Happy B-day to their babies or small children on FB. WHY? Someone please enlighten me because I am completely at loss why would people do that.
1. Child cannot read and does not have a FB account (hopefully)
2. For those people this information concerns must know the child’s birthday without a reminder.
The only explanation possible for me is that the parents (mostly mothers) want a bit of attention (Posting a birthday greeting is different from posting pictures about the party and cake and stuff). So if that is the case then it is terribly sad.
And of course there is the other “custom” of writing a birthday greeting to someone you live together with. I saw once a brother writing to his brother even though they live in the same house. Or a husband writing to his wife, how weird that can get?
It seems to me that FB makes birthdays the most important and most special day of the year. Sure, it is for children and teenagers under 18 but above that age it matters little. You turn a year older that is all. You have a party or family gathering and you enjoy yourself but you can do that without an occasion as we sometimes do.
This whole Facebook is making people act very strangely.
We all want to raise our children well, set boundaries but let them have their independence as well. But they just ignore all of our efforts and this is what happens in 9 occasions out of 10:
A typical parent-child conversation:
Child sees a snail in the grass and reaches out to grab it.
Parent: No, we can’t touch the snail!
Parent: Ok, I will hold the snail for you and you can have a look. No, you can’t hold it.
Child wailing more.
Parent: Okay, you can hold it but only by the shell. NO, I said DON’T TOUCH IT!
This is one of the times when you realise your approach is not working. You have to set boundaries but you soon get tired of denying the child everything and really what is wrong about touching a snail?
I have always wanted to share my story of giving birth because I have read so many stories and I wanted to add my own. It is a bit of a difficulty that I have to do this in English but this is an English blog and I would try my best.
So there it goes:
My due date was December 26, it was a Monday. When nothing happened till Wednesday my doctor suggested that he will send me to the hospital where they can take care of me and have daily examinations as it is riskier to be overdue for a long time. I agreed so on Thursday I went to hospital for the first time in my life. It wasn’t so bad because I could do anything I wanted, I only had to be in my room for the visits and eat the food they provided which was truly awful. But I felt safe there. I celebrated New Year’s Eve in the hospital as well.
Then finally on Monday (one week after my due date) they said I will have an induction (they artificially started labour). I couldn’t sleep well on that night, I was nervous and very scared. And of course they woke me up at five for the preparations. At around 7 they hooked me on the IV, they gave me oxytocin which caused contractions. By 9 it was rather painful and I got the epidural. Well, the pain didn’t go away as I thought but it was dulled and I could catch my breath, rest a little. At half past 12 I got another dose of the good stuff but no more. By 3 I was really tired, the contractions were continuous or so it seemed to me. Finally at around half past 3 they told me it is time to push. What a relief it was to hear that I could do something useful rather than just to lie and suffer in silence. I was really proud of myself because I didn’t scream or uttered any loud noises, I just thought it would make no difference and only tire myself more with it.
So I pushed when the contractions came but my daughter didn’t come out, it turned out later that the umbilical cord was around her neck and her body. So the doctors help a little, they pushed my belly down and finally she was out. I know it sounds horrific but it wasn’t, I would have done everything to bring her safely out.
My boyfriend came in after it was over (he didn’t want to be inside, he was just outside the door but it was more than fine, I had to really concentrate). The doctors were still patching me up, stitching or something but he never looked my way, he only had eyes for his daughter, it was very touching. He is the best of fathers ever since and this is why is does not matter to me that he didn’t want to be at the birth or that he wasn’t the kind to stroke my belly every night, he adores our daughter and this is what matters.
Just like it doesn’t matter how someone gives birth – naturally or with C-section – the things that come after birth are really important. And I have this very useful advice to those who are afraid of labour and the pain and everything: giving birth is just ONE day in your whole life, there are several thousand days in your life, one day (for some lucky ones it is less) is not a long time and it is worth.
She is worth.
I realised I haven’t written anything in a week but the fantastic ideas I have sometimes just vanished from my head. I should write things down, seriously, my brain is like a Swiss cheese, it’s a miracle I remember my own name.
So I will just write a little about our life nowadays.
The days are very similar to each other which – on one hand – is good because we have a routine that is important to little kids but – on the other hand – gets repetitive soon. One day is like this: get up, watch cartoons, get dressed, go to the shop, have breakfast, clean the house, cook lunch, play outside. After lunch there is sleeping (my golden hour), then clean up the mess from morning, go out, eat something, playing, then dinner, bath and sleeping. After my daughter is asleep I usually read a book for at least two hours, this is my time to relax.
This routine sounds really boring but actually it’s not because every day new things emerge, new challenges arrive and days fly by.
Now our new challenge is the nappy removal. I know what parents must do in order to leave the nappy era behind but I am apprehensive regardless because I’m afraid that I’ll screw it up somehow. I hope I won’t though.
But the monotony is broken by the parent-baby club on Wednesdays which are always full of action, the kids enjoy socialising and the toddler English on Fridays where my daughter has always the chance to sing a lot in English which she absolutely loves and does brilliantly.
But of course everything will change when my daughter starts kindergarten and I’m sure I will remember fondly these “boring” days when we could be together all day.
I am officially pissed. Several weeks ago a drunk guy had a minor accident in front of my sister’s house. They called the police and they took the guy’s driving license. A lot of people were angry at them for calling the police. But why wouldn’t they? He was drunk, he caused an accident. How can you possibly sit in your garden with your children and not call the police? What if someone had been standing in the way of a car? A child, an adult or an animal? Then it would be okay to call the police because there are injuries? And of all the people who could be angry at them, it was a man whose son is a policeman. He must be kidding.
Another thing. I have just read on Facebook about a very loud party in the middle of the village yesterday, and how two people have called the police. And of course the “bright” young people are in uproar, they are using some very inappropriate words to describe those people. I understand that they don’t know about children waking up because of the noise but they really should have a bit more empathy.
It’s no wonder we want to move away.
My boyfriend (jeez I hate this word, how can he be my “boyfriend” after 12 years?) has finished my bookshelf and it is fantastic, simply marvellous. I really have to think of a good way to thank him, maybe baking his favourite cake and cooking his favourites and such other treats. These are nearly all my English books but I’m planning to put my Hungarian ones on it as well.
The other amazing thing that happened this week is my daughter’s doing. She was sitting on the floor and she had her pencils in her hands. She began to count them in Hungarian, she counted to ten (there were 5 or 6 pencils but that’s not the point). After she finished, she started to count in English. I thought I hadn’t heard well. She counted to five in English, I was so proud. So maybe there is something in teaching while playing.
Sometimes I can read (courtesy of my Facebook friends) a lot of things about friendship. How true friendship will survive anything and how people no longer your friends are not worth and so on. What an utter pile of rubbish they all are.
I’ve been thinking about friends a lot since I don’t have many friends, in fact I don’t have a best friend. I have long accepted this because it is the result of being antisocial, having a long-term relationship, having a little child and being not outgoing. I have met only two people who are as antisocial as myself but time and distance did its job again and we have little contact but I’m glad that we haven’t lost each other entirely. I have always valued them and felt good with them. There was no need to go to parties, to sit around in a cafe (brrr), to hang out at each other’s. We met regularly because our life (classes and travelling) and we liked each other’s company. I know that many people think this a not a good way of treating friends but we liked that the we were so similar. I really hope I can see them more often in the future but we will always be friends and can take up the thread of our friendship even after years.
There are friends who were close at a certain phase of my life but we drifted apart. But I don’t think that because they have a new life where I can be of little consequence they were not worth of my friendship or nurse a decade long hurt. If we meet we can again try to become closer but there are friends who remain distant friends, it is as simple as that.